Why the World Doesn't Work - Checking out at the store

So, I was all excited last weekend (Easter Weekend) about how I found some awesome coupon deals for some toilet paper and groceries.  I ended up racking up a total bill of $700 and I saved about $375!  I personally never buy any items I do not need or would not normally buy.  I was able to stack coupons and earn some gift cards that I immediately turned around and spent on groceries.

Well, in order to do this type of shopping it takes about 3 dedicated hours a week and it also takes serious concentration at the checkout.  I am not an extreme coupon person, I feel, because I do not over-buy things.  I did at one point in time, but toothpaste that you get for free is NOT a good deal when it expires and has oil oozing out of it....ewww.  Who knew right? 

So, I am in the checkout line and this checker sees us and calls us to come over to a different line.  He did not turn on his "light" to signal that he was not open.  I assumed he understood by the cart of over-flowing toilet paper ( I had to buy a lot in order to score the gift cards and stack with the coupons and with a big household a lot of toilet paper doesn't last long.) and the other two carts full of groceries that we were going to take a bit of time.

The checker was very pleasant.  He explained he just comes up to help the cashiers every now and then.  I was very careful to separate my transactions with the little bars you set down on the conveyor belt.  I carefully inspected every item being scanned ensuring that I got every reward coming to me.  I made sure all my coupons scanned correctly.  First transaction was a total success.  Then the next transaction I had a couple of issues.  One was that I had to purchase $50 worth of food in order to receive the automatic $10 off coupon.  Well, my total was $49.87 so I added some gum but that did not count.  So, I ended up adding an item out of my other cart behind me for the correct amount to receive the bonus coupon. 

Ever heard of "third times the charm"? LET ME SET THE SCENE FOR YOU!  Overflowing carts full of toilet paper and groceries.  A husband busy on his cell phone.  Four restless children.  A woman (ME) with a cell phone getting it scanned for electronic coupons and a handful of coupons.  All of this at a "closed" checkout.  So, this middle-aged couple come up and gets behind us placing their items on the conveyor.  The checker does not tell them he isn't really checking people out.  I decided not to worry about it because "it is non of my business".  So, I continue to monitor things when out of no where I have made an unfortunate mistake of picking up the wrong paper towel brand.  To the average consumer, this is probably not a big deal.  This however was a $20 off the bill mistake.  So, I decided to have the cashier check the brand.  He leaves to get a manager.  The manager comes and explains that it is the right brand but wrong "type" of paper towels.  So, he offers to run and get the correct ones.  I decided to speed up my transaction to be nice to get it done so I can do my final transaction so this couple can checkout as well.  At first I thought they just wanted to watch me coupon (some people actually come and ask me how I do it).  Then I realized that the husband started getting annoyed.  Well, we got to the last coupon and then they changed the paper towels and the whole register shut down!  So, this guy looks at the checker and says "is this going to take a long time?" Then he proceeds to complain to his wife about it taking a long time and he starts throwing his stuff back into his cart!  For some reason, it just went all over me.  The nerve of this guy!  So, the checker says nothing to him and so I just looked at him and said "well yeah it is going to take a long time.  Not sure what specialness you missed here."  Suddenly, my hubby looks up from the phone and says "its ok Jess".  I looked at him and said "oh no it is not ok" and he points at the Startbucks coffee and offers to go buy me a coffee to make me feel better because he does NOT want me to get into a confrontation with this man.  So, I just looked at hubby and spouted off  "well, I don't know what on earth would posess him to pick our line!  I mean if it isn't obvious that we are super special here, then I don't think there is any hope for this man!"  Of course you have to understand that I was tired and getting frustrated because I was being a good wife and mom and homemaker and getting the best buys available for our family.  Along comes Mr. Grumpy in a hurry suddenly customer who needs VIP service and starts to make me feel like a terrible person!  I had to live next door to a man who constantly made me feel like a bad person and I will NEVER be silent again allowing some old grump to ruin any part of my life thank you.  I was standing up for my rights here!  This guy and his wife come up to a CLOSED line and now they are IN A HURRY?

I would like to educate any old grumps needing VIP in a hurry service at a checkout in a store.  DO NOT attempt to get this type of service behind a family with a bunch of kids and coupons and carts ok?  Because it is GOING TO TAKE A LONG TIME!

Now, we have the situation from a smiling chatty cashier to total silence at the front of the store minus the "discussion" that I was having with Mr. Hurry.  Eventually, the cashier is speechless and so this became a battle of the very important "last word".  I would not allow Mr. Grumpy to have the last word.  NO!  I will have the last word here.  I am the good person.  I am the one who is being attacked even though I am just buying some food and toilet paper for my family!  So, he would grouch and I would chirp and the whole time people stared and my hubby tried to keep the peace.

This man finally says to me "that is ridiculous" and I said "well if you were going to save over half on your grocery bill you would make sure you buy the right toilet paper too!"  He said something else and I chirped at him "keep it up and I'll show everyone in here how to look up coupons on their phones too"!  So, then I looked around and realized several cell phones were out.  Not sure if this means I'm going to be the crazy coupon lady on youtube yelling at customers or if they were searching for coupons.  I definitely ruffled up my feathers, and felt like I needed to justify my shopping habits.   However, looking at the situation now, I should have just showed him how to save on his food bill and told him "time is money".  Bless their hearts. 

Well, I learned lesson.  I hope Mr. in a Hurry Grumpy learned his lesson too.  To pay attention to the line he gets in or use the self-checkout lines!

Big Sugar to all my Five Fans! 

Why the world doesn't work - drivers and red lights

In the last week I have been cut off by people behind me!  Yes that is right!  So, I was sitting at a red light in traffic so congested that no one could move.  I was turning right.  The light was red and the guy behind me was honking at me.  Over and over and over and over.  Honk.  Honk. Hoonnnnkkkk!.

I throw my hands up in the air and ask him (as if he can hear me) what do you want me to do?  Next thing I know he has pulled up beside me in his big black truck with handicap placquard, and is yelling at me and then cuts me off by turning right in front of me into oncoming traffic about causing a wreck for all of us!  I start honking back and him and give it an extra long hooooonkkk!  It didn't help.  It did not make me feel better and the worst part is, I was the one now looking like the aggressor.

So, I move on.  I text my husband that I need a conceal carry license.  Then I text back that isn't a good idea after all.  My husband, bless his heart, is confused by me but NEVER surprised.

So, today I'm driving.  I am on my way to get my kids from school.  Red light.  Sitting in the right lane waiting for it to turn green to go straight.  Before I know it a truck pulls along side me from behind me, mad at me that I'm in his way of turning right (there is no right hand turn lane).  He cuts me off and turns right in front of me.  Again!  So, it brings back fond memories of days prior, and I give it a big honnnnnkkkkkk at him.  Well, then the next car behind me does the EXACT same thing.  Cuts me off turning right in front of me!  So, then I honk honk honk honk honk honk honk hoooonnkkk honk honk! ARRGG.  By this time, I realize the light must be broken and so I wait and I just have to go through the red light because I cannot go straight! 

I am now questioning if I am a good driver at red lights when turning right or going straight!  I am questioning my sanity wondering if I am missing a green light.  I don't seem to be missing the jerks going around me.  So, how can I be such a poor red light driver huh?

The best part was when I took out my frustration on the front desk at my daughter's school because she decided to go to an after school program I told her she wasn't allowed to go to.

Currently, I am not only a poor red light driver but now I look like a terrible mother with no patience at all.  Even though, this after school activity has been a bone of contention for a week straight! 

So, my food for thought for the day here is.......               

John 7:24 ESV         

Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.

HOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKK! 

BIG sugar to all my Five Fans :)

Why the world doesn't work - water - you vs. the city

Today I looked down and realized I was two days late on my house payment.  Yep it is due the 1st and today is the 3rd!  So, I wrote out a check and ran through the front yard to mail it.  Well, I get close to the mailbox and realize it is muddy so I decide to step on the water meter cover because it is solid only I fall right in!  Water is coming out and it is obvious it is flooded. 

I call the city and tell them I think there might be a leak.  So, they send out their one man show to come and take a peek.  So, this guy comes driving up to the water meter area in the city truck.  Lights are flashing.  I watch him for a few minutes and realize he's getting ready to leave!  OH no you don't mister, not without talking to me first!  Sheesh.  So, I get my fuzzy slippers on and run out to catch him.

He looks super happy that I'm home and need to chat.  :)  So, I begin to discuss the situation, the water and how I fell in and how yard is sinking in and the main sewer line is coming through the yard etc.  He listens and objects to everything.  He has determined the water isn't leaking because there is no "bleach" or "chlorine" present in his handy dandy plastic test tube.  He tells me the water is dirty and has been there a long time.  Uhhhh....yes that is obvious that there is a water backup.  However, he tells me it is just "that time of year".  He wants to reassure me so he tells me he is going to pump out the water.  I say great.  So, I grab my 4yr old and we watch him.  This water employee is now even more excited that he has an audience to critique his pumping water skills.  Yes!

So, we watch him take out a home-made pump.  He starts hand pumping out water and then we would watch it run down the street.  He pumped more and same thing.  And more.  And more and more.  Until he tells us that it isn't filling back up very fast so it can't be a leak.  In fact, if it was a leak our grass would be bleached white (even though it is white from the winter still)!  He even let us know that having water bubbling up from the ground there was perfectly fine.  We should worry if it is clear and not dirty.  OH and technically, we were on the other side of the street where the other water department is responsible.  Not this department.  We discussed the terrible construction of the subdivision and he then enlightened me that he lives 30 miles away out in the country on 360 acres.  He knows this neighborhood very well because he did the meter readings for the prior three years. (This makes him a total expert on the construction of the homes in the neighborhood right?)  I did not ask him what his new position with the water department was (since he doesn't read meters anymore). 

Well, given this home is a rental and I have done all I can as a tenant, I decided to thank him for his expertise and move on.  Literally.  So, I'm now on the hunt for a real home that we can call our own.  Somewhere where we don't have to live by HOA rules of where to park and how to mow your lawn.  A place where my kids are safe and we can enjoy some peace.  I don't think I'm ready to live on 360 acres 30 miles away, but it gets my mind to thinking.

Why the world doesn't work - Country kids and suburban homes

So, I went outside to take a good look around today.  I was looking to see what was going on with the weather.  Clues for me personally are the dark sky and my body tells me it does not like the change in pressure.

So, whenever I feel the weather getting bad, I just go outside and look.  If it looks bad, I call other people I know to confirm they think it looks bad too.  Then I'll turn on the weather and find out what time its going to hit. 

Well, while I was out in the backyard I noticed something, that honestly has just escaped us.  What it looked like!  Here are some pictures:

So, while everyone around us notices a trashed out yard, my kids see redneck Olympics!  Oh yeah.  :)  This is the perfect play area for my kids.  While everyone else's yard is filled with cute swing sets and trampolines, my kids are catapulting each other off rocks and boards through a hoola hoop!  The various spoons are for finding treasure and snakes.  The water bottles are to give homes to the rollie pollies and the giant stick is a magic wand.  I don't even want to know what the wheel barrel was used for. 

I'm so happy that my kids have such a great imagination.  So, I now know that my yard is a lot like my cooking.  It's better than it looks!

Big Sugar to all my Five Fans. :)